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If you cannot find the relay you could put the diode directly across the switch, it certainly would not hurt anything even if there was no relay or if the relay already had a diode.
It does sound like you need a new switch, at least you have a M998 so it is much cheaper and easier to deal with than the 4 speed guys.
I don't know about the click you are hearing, if you have an ammeter you might stick it in the leads and measure the amps going to the brake lights before...
I am a little confused, I thought you said the lights were on all the time unless you stepped on the brakes?
There is no relay the switch drives the lights directly
Yes the switch can ohm out good but not carry a load.
You need to troubleshoot the brake light switch and see if that is the problem, one thing you can do is simply disconnect it, if the lights go out the switch is bad.
Or grossly miss adjusted
The issue with the indicator lamp is the polarity is backwards to most lights, the bayonet (body) is positive and the pin contact is negative, makes no difference to an incandescent lamp but will not work with 99% of the LED lamps out there.