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Easy Pleasy!! 12K Hydro on the front, 12K electric on the rear!!
I learned many decades ago that the front winch can usually only pull you farther into whatever your were stupid enough to drive off into to begin with..
EDIT, that oil is from my JLG manlift I was using to work on the shop door...
Not just America, in Australia if you have to abandon your vehicle on the long and desolate roadways someone will come along and torch it.
Feral humans are everywhere.