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Hopefully he knows I was kidding. Since he hasn't responded, I can only assume he is desperately trying to rid himself of the towbar parts he does have.

Nope, only complete towbars. If you are found with an incomplete towbar, it is a federal offense punishable by up to 30 years in prison. They also have the right to take all of your green stuff and give you a hefty fine. If I was you, I'd get that towbar complete before someone squeals on you.