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Basic tools and fluids eh? Beer and a bottle opener! Haha. I know of several folks who would show up at a multi day event where we were camping and arrive with nothing more than a cooler jammed full of beer and ice.

C'mon folks, this is the 21st Century. All you need is a credit card with a high limit and a charged smart phone. If you're the boyscout type, a Gerber Multiplier.

At least he didn't try to flat tow it with the bike.