FreightTrain
Banned
- 2,730
- 13
- 0
- Location
- Gadsden,Al
OK,As I promised.I found my write up from a couple years ago on how I killed the Martyr Machine and the reason for it being broke down since then.Here it is.....
Ok,I guess I will out right say it.I Forked up and the Maryr Machine
paid for it.It all started friday night.I went out with the guys to
the only "Legal" public place to trail ride and sling mud.Went up
there with my Civy F150 4x4.Being a rookie they told me to take the
easy hole.....I should learn not to listen to the slightly inebriated
of the bunch......Well,I high tailed it into the first hole(hmmm,he
told the truth,its the easiest...well was).The truck sank and
stopped.The AT tires were not enough.Got a pull and went about my
business of drinking a beer or two and called it a night about 4AM(6
hours from arrival).We all stopped at the local Waffle House(Just
picture 4 drunk mud covered rednecks with me being the 5th one that
was sober).Well,about 1/4 mile from the choke and puke I heard a
tapping noise from up front....figured dang clumps of mud.....then
went I came to my turn......Nothing.....Wouldn't turn...saw the idiot
light for the battery was on.Dang,engine died(was running but smooth
for a change).Got out and saw it was running and it dawned on
me.Belt!!!Pulled into the parking lot and was confronted with 4
drunks waving me to shut her down.I was pouring water.Dang over
heated.Skip forward to a few hours after I got home and got some
sleep.I got up went to advanced auto and got the "Correct belt" for
my Civy rig.....nope.Someone forgot to reinstall the AC compressor
when they changed the motor before I purchased....No problem....Go
back and exchange it for NonAC truck.....WAY too long....UH
OH.....Noticed the pully was not on a Smog pump....No,it didn't break
off,it was removed by a previous owner(thanks,saved me the time....)
So,go back....and they don't have a belt listed for a truck with no
emissions....DANG IT.skip forward.....I check the message boards(Ford
Trucks.com) and find out that 80.5" works......on everyone elses
rig....after 6 trips to advanced auto I give up because I have tried
every belt they have between 77"(string method thingy) and
80.5......well,crap.Skip forward again to around 10PM.I meet up with
the guys again for another night of booze and mud.We eat at the same
place this time before heading out since they wanted to see if they
could get the 79" belt I had on,No dice.So,since I already ate I
called a Tow truck and had the guy pick up the very muddy F150 and
rode home with him.....Figured what the heck.I'll get the green one
out while they eat and pick up the one that told me the night before
to go though the "Easy" hole.I grab him,we head up though the
projects to the mountian trails(hmmm,who though of that,rednecks
delight in the mountians but gotta go though the projects to get to
it....)But anyway.I get up there and as I round the last curve I come
across a herd of people that look like deer in the headlights.Hee hee
hee,I love that look!So,an hour or so later we decide to put the real
off road vehicle to the test.Everyone jumps in and we head off.There
was a deep rut on the side of the road and I just had to cross it and
shake everyone up.It was a good 2 foot deep(1st warning!!!!!Keep a
good grip and your thumps OUT OF THE WHEEL!It spins FAST)....well,we
made it though that easily(YAWN).I decide to take the right road up
ahead that has a good sized holeI hit it in 6 wheel and you could
feel it sink and slip but never lost alot of momentum....sweet,She
likes......So,I decide to go for the monster.3rd real hole on the
trail.OOPS.They said to ease into it since it drops off right at the
edge....that should have been a redflag.....well,I ease into it with
the front and WOW!I can't see the bumper anymore!ummm,ok....they said
to give it hell and I did.She had no problem even after both rears
were 3 feet or better in the mud until.........WHAM!Front end flexed
up a good 2 feet on the passenger side and truck stopped and slid
backward......UH OH....She ain't moving....I though it into
reverse,she moves gets up on the bank but stops and won't come
out....Forward again,hits the same thing....went back and forth for
about 30 minutes trying my best to get out.Everything from sawing the
wheel to low range to starting in 2nd.Nothing.By this time the mud is
in the cab......and I hear what I thought was belts squeeling.....I
figured they got wet.....so,A few minutes later the same guy that got
the ford out the day before hooked to the deuce.....He yank the hell
out of it but it only snorted at him.hmmmm,I might have a
problem.So,we give a buddy down the trail a holler and tell him to
bring the FORD!well,He gets there but is facing the wrong way.No
problem.....He pulls off the trail to turn around and we lose sight
of his front and cab.....He pulled off the side of the mountian and
hit a tree......Dang it,good thing the Bow tie was still there.Pulled
him back up and only suffered a little embarrisment and a busted
fender(actually an improvement in this trucks case).Well,By the time
we hooked him up to the pintle he was really pissed.....He gave that
truck hell.I though he was going to blow it up.That old 351 really
proved itself and actually had just enough to help pull the deuce out!
We were all amazed.....So we head back to camp,and while on the way
back I notice the squeeling belt only makes a noise when I push in
the clutch.....UH OH.....Find out it's the clutch making that
noise.Everyone said ignore it,its just water on the clutch....OK,SO a
few hours later we decide to go trail riding.....IN THE DEUCE!Just
think of a 8 foot wide 7 ton truck going down trails made by little
Jeeps with a 45 degree slope on one side!PUCKER FACTOR!Well,since I
am typing this we made it back but not by much.At the end of the trail(feels like 6 or 7 miles from HQ) there is a 180degree turn to the left that curves down the mountian.Well,I swing it as wide as possible taking down small trees and still not enough room.So I hit the clutch and brakes.....I think I hit the clutch....Well,the truck wouldn't stop.I stand on the brakes and yell to the gang no brake while the truck drives down the side of a mountain about 10 feet before the engine stalls.Ok.I press in the clutch,and back up and back onto the pig trail.Driving down the path we come up on a tree that has fallen across the trail.No way we can back this thing up or turn around so we procede to try and move the tree.luckly it was a small 4" tree but had fallen though another V shaped tree and wa locked in place.I had the bright idea to use the deuce as a battering ram.Hey,it worked.Lined the tree up with the bumper and throttled though it.Wouldn't you know it too,this was right at the end of the trail too.Had a choice,nearly 45 degrees down the right trail or 30 degrees up to the top trail we came in on.I took up since Didn't know what the heck was down......about 4 miles from camp we noticed
something ahead in the sky.....Black clouds and lightning.....Oh
great,No top,on a mountian in a thunder storm.what else could go
wrong.We hit the storm about half way back.Uhh,I have some real
respect for the poor GIs in the back now(let someone else drive about
half way down...I didn't know the trails).We make it back to the
power lines where a buddy left his grandpas jeep to load up with us)
OOPS,left that out)since I am a passenger in my own topless truck and
no one else wants out of the rain I bail and get in the
Jeep.Well,this guy never had been off pavement before.He put it in 4H
but didn't lock the hubs.We came to a big hill going down and he lost
it.front wheel went into the Rut that the deuce crossed before
getting stuck(the big boy).ok,other 3 are not in there so he guns it
and almost makes it to the bottom where teh rut ends but about 10
Feet from it the rear sling around and splat.Right on the
chunks.Great,It got worse.Ok,the deuce goes ahead to pick up some
chains.Well,I get phone call a few minutes later.One of the 2 goobers
that passed out before the trip had woke up and split with all the
chains.....and worst the deuce was pissed.Broke the guys finger that
was driving(Rut+Thumb in wheel=broke thumb!)Ok,they drive down the
trail to Ricer zone and get a strap.well,before they get back,the
other guy that passed out woke up and drove down.....IN A CAR!He
almost made it till the rear slung around and got stuck off the
road.Well,I get another call.....This is the bad one!....Guy says
there is something wrong with the deuce.....The clutch is gone!Uh
oh....I didn't put the plug in.Dang it.Well,they call a buddy while
waiting for Ricer Zone to open and he comes down in his 4x4 ranger.He
pulls the Car back but the dummy in the car turns the wheels the
wrong way.Now the car is totally off the road.Oh well,we can get it
out when the deuce comes back(Now the 1 gear wonder).the Ranger
proceeds to pull us out(The Jeep) and at that time the deuce shows
up.....but since the guy in teh jeep didn't want to back up and give
room my buddy in control of my green monster is forced to back off
the trail "UP" a hill.To stop it he has to shut down the engine.Then
shift to the forward gear he wants.....well,that was teh plan.The guy
in the jeep takes off but doesn't want to stop for fear of getting
stuck again.Ok,so I tag along for the ride down the mountian and wait
for them to get the car out and the deuce back.Then I get another
call....The deuce is stuck in Reverse backed up a hill with no
clutch.....they said to stay at on the road till they came down in
the ranger.well,To finish up the story.We proced back up the trail
and I manage to force the tranny out of gear(man that thing was bound
up!) and we use the crippled deuce to drag the car out of the ditch
or whatever you want to call the drop off.well,I get home at 10MPH
all the way.....I think.max speed in 2nd gear high range.So,if you
made it this far without falling asleep,If you go out and mud
rid,Keep your thumbs out of the wheel,put the plug in the tranny!,a
deuce can get stuck,and last,Don't listen to the dunks!
The end.........I want a rematch!!!!!
Ok,I guess I will out right say it.I Forked up and the Maryr Machine
paid for it.It all started friday night.I went out with the guys to
the only "Legal" public place to trail ride and sling mud.Went up
there with my Civy F150 4x4.Being a rookie they told me to take the
easy hole.....I should learn not to listen to the slightly inebriated
of the bunch......Well,I high tailed it into the first hole(hmmm,he
told the truth,its the easiest...well was).The truck sank and
stopped.The AT tires were not enough.Got a pull and went about my
business of drinking a beer or two and called it a night about 4AM(6
hours from arrival).We all stopped at the local Waffle House(Just
picture 4 drunk mud covered rednecks with me being the 5th one that
was sober).Well,about 1/4 mile from the choke and puke I heard a
tapping noise from up front....figured dang clumps of mud.....then
went I came to my turn......Nothing.....Wouldn't turn...saw the idiot
light for the battery was on.Dang,engine died(was running but smooth
for a change).Got out and saw it was running and it dawned on
me.Belt!!!Pulled into the parking lot and was confronted with 4
drunks waving me to shut her down.I was pouring water.Dang over
heated.Skip forward to a few hours after I got home and got some
sleep.I got up went to advanced auto and got the "Correct belt" for
my Civy rig.....nope.Someone forgot to reinstall the AC compressor
when they changed the motor before I purchased....No problem....Go
back and exchange it for NonAC truck.....WAY too long....UH
OH.....Noticed the pully was not on a Smog pump....No,it didn't break
off,it was removed by a previous owner(thanks,saved me the time....)
So,go back....and they don't have a belt listed for a truck with no
emissions....DANG IT.skip forward.....I check the message boards(Ford
Trucks.com) and find out that 80.5" works......on everyone elses
rig....after 6 trips to advanced auto I give up because I have tried
every belt they have between 77"(string method thingy) and
80.5......well,crap.Skip forward again to around 10PM.I meet up with
the guys again for another night of booze and mud.We eat at the same
place this time before heading out since they wanted to see if they
could get the 79" belt I had on,No dice.So,since I already ate I
called a Tow truck and had the guy pick up the very muddy F150 and
rode home with him.....Figured what the heck.I'll get the green one
out while they eat and pick up the one that told me the night before
to go though the "Easy" hole.I grab him,we head up though the
projects to the mountian trails(hmmm,who though of that,rednecks
delight in the mountians but gotta go though the projects to get to
it....)But anyway.I get up there and as I round the last curve I come
across a herd of people that look like deer in the headlights.Hee hee
hee,I love that look!So,an hour or so later we decide to put the real
off road vehicle to the test.Everyone jumps in and we head off.There
was a deep rut on the side of the road and I just had to cross it and
shake everyone up.It was a good 2 foot deep(1st warning!!!!!Keep a
good grip and your thumps OUT OF THE WHEEL!It spins FAST)....well,we
made it though that easily(YAWN).I decide to take the right road up
ahead that has a good sized holeI hit it in 6 wheel and you could
feel it sink and slip but never lost alot of momentum....sweet,She
likes......So,I decide to go for the monster.3rd real hole on the
trail.OOPS.They said to ease into it since it drops off right at the
edge....that should have been a redflag.....well,I ease into it with
the front and WOW!I can't see the bumper anymore!ummm,ok....they said
to give it hell and I did.She had no problem even after both rears
were 3 feet or better in the mud until.........WHAM!Front end flexed
up a good 2 feet on the passenger side and truck stopped and slid
backward......UH OH....She ain't moving....I though it into
reverse,she moves gets up on the bank but stops and won't come
out....Forward again,hits the same thing....went back and forth for
about 30 minutes trying my best to get out.Everything from sawing the
wheel to low range to starting in 2nd.Nothing.By this time the mud is
in the cab......and I hear what I thought was belts squeeling.....I
figured they got wet.....so,A few minutes later the same guy that got
the ford out the day before hooked to the deuce.....He yank the hell
out of it but it only snorted at him.hmmmm,I might have a
problem.So,we give a buddy down the trail a holler and tell him to
bring the FORD!well,He gets there but is facing the wrong way.No
problem.....He pulls off the trail to turn around and we lose sight
of his front and cab.....He pulled off the side of the mountian and
hit a tree......Dang it,good thing the Bow tie was still there.Pulled
him back up and only suffered a little embarrisment and a busted
fender(actually an improvement in this trucks case).Well,By the time
we hooked him up to the pintle he was really pissed.....He gave that
truck hell.I though he was going to blow it up.That old 351 really
proved itself and actually had just enough to help pull the deuce out!
We were all amazed.....So we head back to camp,and while on the way
back I notice the squeeling belt only makes a noise when I push in
the clutch.....UH OH.....Find out it's the clutch making that
noise.Everyone said ignore it,its just water on the clutch....OK,SO a
few hours later we decide to go trail riding.....IN THE DEUCE!Just
think of a 8 foot wide 7 ton truck going down trails made by little
Jeeps with a 45 degree slope on one side!PUCKER FACTOR!Well,since I
am typing this we made it back but not by much.At the end of the trail(feels like 6 or 7 miles from HQ) there is a 180degree turn to the left that curves down the mountian.Well,I swing it as wide as possible taking down small trees and still not enough room.So I hit the clutch and brakes.....I think I hit the clutch....Well,the truck wouldn't stop.I stand on the brakes and yell to the gang no brake while the truck drives down the side of a mountain about 10 feet before the engine stalls.Ok.I press in the clutch,and back up and back onto the pig trail.Driving down the path we come up on a tree that has fallen across the trail.No way we can back this thing up or turn around so we procede to try and move the tree.luckly it was a small 4" tree but had fallen though another V shaped tree and wa locked in place.I had the bright idea to use the deuce as a battering ram.Hey,it worked.Lined the tree up with the bumper and throttled though it.Wouldn't you know it too,this was right at the end of the trail too.Had a choice,nearly 45 degrees down the right trail or 30 degrees up to the top trail we came in on.I took up since Didn't know what the heck was down......about 4 miles from camp we noticed
something ahead in the sky.....Black clouds and lightning.....Oh
great,No top,on a mountian in a thunder storm.what else could go
wrong.We hit the storm about half way back.Uhh,I have some real
respect for the poor GIs in the back now(let someone else drive about
half way down...I didn't know the trails).We make it back to the
power lines where a buddy left his grandpas jeep to load up with us)
OOPS,left that out)since I am a passenger in my own topless truck and
no one else wants out of the rain I bail and get in the
Jeep.Well,this guy never had been off pavement before.He put it in 4H
but didn't lock the hubs.We came to a big hill going down and he lost
it.front wheel went into the Rut that the deuce crossed before
getting stuck(the big boy).ok,other 3 are not in there so he guns it
and almost makes it to the bottom where teh rut ends but about 10
Feet from it the rear sling around and splat.Right on the
chunks.Great,It got worse.Ok,the deuce goes ahead to pick up some
chains.Well,I get phone call a few minutes later.One of the 2 goobers
that passed out before the trip had woke up and split with all the
chains.....and worst the deuce was pissed.Broke the guys finger that
was driving(Rut+Thumb in wheel=broke thumb!)Ok,they drive down the
trail to Ricer zone and get a strap.well,before they get back,the
other guy that passed out woke up and drove down.....IN A CAR!He
almost made it till the rear slung around and got stuck off the
road.Well,I get another call.....This is the bad one!....Guy says
there is something wrong with the deuce.....The clutch is gone!Uh
oh....I didn't put the plug in.Dang it.Well,they call a buddy while
waiting for Ricer Zone to open and he comes down in his 4x4 ranger.He
pulls the Car back but the dummy in the car turns the wheels the
wrong way.Now the car is totally off the road.Oh well,we can get it
out when the deuce comes back(Now the 1 gear wonder).the Ranger
proceeds to pull us out(The Jeep) and at that time the deuce shows
up.....but since the guy in teh jeep didn't want to back up and give
room my buddy in control of my green monster is forced to back off
the trail "UP" a hill.To stop it he has to shut down the engine.Then
shift to the forward gear he wants.....well,that was teh plan.The guy
in the jeep takes off but doesn't want to stop for fear of getting
stuck again.Ok,so I tag along for the ride down the mountian and wait
for them to get the car out and the deuce back.Then I get another
call....The deuce is stuck in Reverse backed up a hill with no
clutch.....they said to stay at on the road till they came down in
the ranger.well,To finish up the story.We proced back up the trail
and I manage to force the tranny out of gear(man that thing was bound
up!) and we use the crippled deuce to drag the car out of the ditch
or whatever you want to call the drop off.well,I get home at 10MPH
all the way.....I think.max speed in 2nd gear high range.So,if you
made it this far without falling asleep,If you go out and mud
rid,Keep your thumbs out of the wheel,put the plug in the tranny!,a
deuce can get stuck,and last,Don't listen to the dunks!
The end.........I want a rematch!!!!!
